Dancing Goddess

Nepal, 1984

I’m not a fan of porn. It’s the erotic figures found in Hindu and Buddhist paintings and sculpture that turn me on. There’s something about those beatific devotional female deities—they’re among the wonders of the world.

There are so many statues for sale in Nepal that trying to choose the “right” one can be maddening. In fact, as you may know, I wrote a book about this: Shopping for Buddhas. That tale was set in 1988. But during earlier trips to Asia I was less meditative, and more on the lookout for comely representations of the full-figured maidens I’d seen portrayed across the subcontinent—from the cave murals in Sri Lanka to the acrobatic lovers of Khajuraho.

In 1984, I couldn’t afford a “perfect” sculpture. So, I combed the statuary shops for artworks that were almost perfect, save for a fatal flaw, and so might be purchased at a deep discount.

This dancing goddess (I think of her as a goddess, though she’s probably simply a dancer) looked wonderful in the store window…but her waist is not fitted properly. The top half of her body rattles around in the hips and is never poised quite right. Still, I was thrilled and grateful to possess this artwork. I displayed her in my hallway, draped with the glass bead necklaces described elsewhere in this book.

I’m older now, and my own body is coming loose. A spinal staph infection hospitalized me for a week, and earned me my first (temporary) handicapped parking placard. I’m not the only one with issues: My lover has a growth on her lower eyelid that may or may not be cancerous; my business partner was recently hospitalized for a rare heart condition; and my beautiful paramour thinks she may be a close candidate for hip replacement surgery.

It’s ironic. I’m at a point in my life when I can afford top-tier works of art. But I’m in love with flesh-and-blood women who—especially if they’re in my age group—often come with undisguised imperfections.

So, I am ready to let go of this flawed dancer, and fall fully in love with the imperfect goddesses who share my own imperfect life. Their bodies, too, are wonders of the world.